


Of Waging War

by history_kills



Category: Alexander (2004), Alexander Trilogy - Mary Renault, Alexander the Great - Fandom
Genre: Ancient Greece, Ancient History, Historical, History, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-15
Updated: 2017-08-15
Packaged: 2018-12-15 13:34:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,900
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11807019
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/history_kills/pseuds/history_kills
Summary: Following Alexander's transformation from Prince to King, largely through his relationship with Hephaestion.





	1. Chapter 1

The day was dim, fraught with weighty clouds on the brink of sobbing. It was a day unguided by the sun, with only beginning and end, and no in between. It was in the heart of this day that they perched, apart from the world and its ravages.

  
“You’ve let it grow long,” Hephaistion noticed, combing out the tangled mess of Alexander’s hair with his fingers as Alexander read, barely aware of the other's presence. He touched one of the annotations Aristotle had made along the side of the text as though contact with it could relay him some of the wisdom he now found himself so desperate for.

"What?" Alexander asked,  realizing that his companion had spoken.

"Your hair- You've let it grow long."

“Oh. Yeah.”

“It suits you. It's like a lion's mane.”

“My mother would always bother me about cutting it when I was younger. I do like it longer though I think," he spoke, not looking up.

“You should keep it this way. They will sing songs of your lion-like hair one day. I can almost hear them.” Hephaestion laughed sharply, before breaking into poorly formed song. “Oh, Alexander, the great King of Macedonia, with a lion's heart and a lion's mane, because of his deeds, the world will never be the same!”

Alexander turned to face his friend with a vague solemnity. There was a gentle pause. “Hephaestion-”

“Mm?”

“My father has sent for me to return to Pella. All of us. I am to act as his regent during his Byzantine campaign."

"What?" Hepheastion's mind lept to the messenger that had arrived that morning. "But you are still so young! Barely more than a boy." 

Alexander closed the scroll with painful delicacy. "I'm sixteen."

 

“So this is it. This is what your whole life has been leading to.” Hephaestion searched Alexander’s eyes desperately for the answers to unasked questions. All Hephaestion felt now was a consuming dread for some reason which had for now escaped him. 

“This is it,” Alexander echoed.

“You will prove yourself a worthy King, I'm sure.” The words came stiffly. 

Alexander sighed, bowing his head so that his forehead rested against the other’s shoulder. They were quiet for a while, an offering of silence to some insatiable god. 

  
“Aristotle will announce it at dinner,” Alexander said finally.

“So this is actually happening then," Hephaestion mused, recalling all the times they had in their childish minds mistakenly expected to descend from Mieza. "Are you ready?"

"Of course," Alexander answered with the tongue of Achilles. His eyes reached for the folded scroll. 

"Aren't you afraid?"

"I don't have that luxury." 

 

The rain puttered and hissed outside the window. 

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

At dinner Hephaestion was quiet. He gazed across at Alexander who was talking jovially, in wide gestures, captivating his audience. The others had no mind for Alexander’s grand visions, but they were nonetheless infatuated with the boy. Hephaestion wasn’t sure he had ever seen a more disgusting scene. He picked at his food solemnly.

Hephaestion groaned audibly as Cassander began to tell another anecdote about the valor of his and Alexander’s fathers, earning himself a chastising look from Alexander. Hephaestion returned the look, only to have Alexander ignore him. He followed it with a sharp kick to Alexander’s shins.

Alexander’s retaliation was swift and painful. A sharp kick. His hand on Hephaestion’s thigh.

Not particularly enthusiastic about this under-table feud, Hephaestion was relieved when Aristotle interrupted it by rising from where he sat at the other end of the table. “Boys,” he began with his hand raised to call attention. “Settle down, settle down.” Conversations pittered out around the table. “The honored Alexander has an exciting announcement to make.”

Alexander smiled and rose from his seat, giving Hephaestion a quick pinch for good measure. “My noble friends, my father, the glorious Phillip, has asked me to act as his regent in his stead. We are to return to Pella.”

Alexander opened his mouth to continue but was drowned out by the dozens of conversations which had broken out, incited by his words. “Hurrah,” Ptolemy cried out over the sound. He raised his glass. “Health to our future king!” The rest followed suit, banging the table and clinking glasses.

Alexander smiled smugly, gladly absorbing the praise. “We have no time to spare. We leave tomorrow morning,” he said once the ruckus had died down again. “Gather your belongings, friends. We are going home!” He was awarded with another collective cheer. Alexander exchanged a look with Aristotle, who gave him a respectful nod. Satisfied, he sat down again.

  
He glanced across the table at Hephaestion who seemed to be uncharacteristically withdrawn. He was wanted to ask why he had been kicked but decided it was better not to risk embarrassing the boy  in front of the others and so remained quiet, urging Cassander to continue where he had left off in his story. Hephaestion hissed, excusing himself from the table to rest before tomorrow's journey.

  
Alexander waited politely for Cassander to finish, but the boy could see his impatience and grew self conscious. Alexander apologized, rising to follow after Hephaestion, stopping only when someone grabbed his arm. He looked down at Cassander’s hand incredulously. “I can see it in your eyes that Eros has you at his mercy. You are like a deaf man. He will be your downfall at this rate, Alexander. I don’t know why you are so deaf to all but him. If you wanted beautiful boys to fuck you have them available to you by the dozen. But that one is going to be your downfall, I’m telling you.”

Alexander gave Cassander a look so repulsive that he immediately let go of him. 

“My apologies if I overstepped, but please, sit!” Cassander pleaded cheerfully. “Celebrate with us, Alexander! Just because your boy is in a foul mood doesn't mean you can't enjoy yourself. Have some more wine!”

  
“He is not my boy. He is Hephaestion,” he snapped, his cheeks flushing. As he left the room he was vaguely aware of Philotas whispering something to those near him and the muffled laughter that followed. He was making a fool of himself, he realized, as he hurried after his lover. By all external measures he had lost himself to his passions. He pushed these thoughts aside.

“Hephaestion. Stop,” he ordered. Hephaestion continued on as if he hadn't heard the young prince. Alexander broke into a sprint, catching up with him.

“What is wrong with you?” He asked, frustratedly, grasping Hephaestion around the waist to prevent him from walking further.

“Let go of me,” Hephaestion commanded weakly.

Alexander’s grip only tightened around him. Hephaestion grimaced as he felt Alexander's teeth graze his the exposed skin of his neck possessively.

“I'm not your slave, Alexander. Let go of me,” Hephaestion hissed, his eyes darting back towards the dining hall.

This time Alexander obeyed. He remembered hearing the same words from his mother's lips once. 

Hephaestion's ruddy cheeks had turned a darker shade. "What am I to you? A dog? That obey your every command? That I give you comfort and companionship when you decide you need it? Do you think that just because I wasn’t born son of the glorious Philip that I have any less soul than yourself? Ah, no. I should know. The whole world was built to serve you. And my body formed for your pleasure. You know, all today today you were unusually pleasant and lively, and I thought it was because you enjoyed being with me, but I realize now it was because of the news you had received and withheld from me, surely because I didn’t deserve to know as soon as yourself. Fuck you, Alexander. I’d rather have been born a peasant than be another one of your toys. I’d rather die than surender my freedom to you, or anyone. I am a free soul, Alexander. I’m not your pet.”

“My God, I love you.”

Hephaestion’s nostrils flared.

Alexander, taking Hephaestion’s face in his hands kissed him. Hephaestion pushed him away.  
  
  
Alexander watched as Hephaestion strode away from him, leaving him with nothing but a vague regretful longing.

 


	3. Chapter 3

Night fell in completeness. Alexander folded his tired limbs into bed. He felt utterly weak from the day’s excitements. Exhaustion overcame him. He looked over at Hephaestion who had already retired to bed, his handsome features shining dimly in the light of Alexander’s lamp. Alexander felt the urge to rouse him, to see those long eyelashes flutter open, revealing the warm listening eyes he had come to love so dearly. He longed for the late night conversations they had shared in their younger years, for that feeling of being unburdened. Remembering Hephaestion’s frustration with him earlier, he dismissed the thought, and put out his lamp, engulfing the room in the night's darkness.

He rolled first to his side, and then to his back, and then to his other side, unable to find a comfortable position. Though he had told no one, not even Hephaestion, of this immense fear of failure, it gripped him so completely now that he felt he could hardly breathe. He worried that he wouldn't be a competent regent. He knew of course that Antipater would be at his side should he lose control or need advisement, but he knew also that if he relied too heavily on Antipater he would seem weak and ineffective, which could be detrimental to support for his kingship in the long run. It seemed that his whole future relied on his actions in these coming days.

He glanced through the dark toward where he knew Hephaestion's bed to be. All he wanted in the world was to curl up in that boy's arms, to be coddled, to be loved. He grit his teeth, feeling childish, and changed positions again.

It was late into the night before Alexander finally gave into the instinct to join Hephaestion in his bed. He felt Hephaestion stir next to him, and braced himself for rejection.

Hephaestion woke to feel a warm being nestling itself into the gentle crescent curve of his body, curly locks tickling beneath his chin.

“Alexander?” he whispered, not wanting to wake the other boys with whom they shared this room. His hand wandered its way to his friend's cheek which was unusually hot and wet. The boy shuddered beneath Hephaestion’s touch. It took Hephaestion a moment to realize that he was crying. He couldn't remember the last time he had seen Alexander cry.

“I didn't mean to wake you,” Alexander whined weakly between choked inhales.

  
“It’s okay.”

“I’m sorry,” he whimpered. Hephaestion was caught off guard. He wasn't sure Alexander had ever actually apologized for anything in his life.

“It’s okay,” he repeated gently.

“I don't know why I’m crying,” Alexander croaked. “I don't cry.”

“It’s okay, Alexander. It’s okay.” Hephaestion kissed his friend’s head, wrapping his arm protectively around his ribs, feeling as they heaved with silent sobs.

  
Hephaestion was surprised by the guilt which boiled in his chest. He had forgotten that Alexander was only human. "I love you," he murmured with the sweetness of an apology. 

Eventually the boy’s breathing became steadier, and the sobbing ceased. When he didn't stir for a number of minutes, Hephaestion decided he must have fallen asleep. Hephaestion followed soon after, comforted by the feeling of his lover curled in his arms like a babe.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first time posting a fic, after having read and enjoyed many. I can't make any promises about regular updates as I will be starting school very soon but I will try my hardest to add on a semi-regular basis. Kudos and feedback are appreciated! 
> 
> -Delia


End file.
